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Understanding Grandparent Custody Durham NC Seniors Face

By Amy Morgan


When people have children most assume those children will grow up, find a partner, settle down and start a family of their own. When individuals think about having grandchildren, they probably envision visiting them and taking them out for treats. Then the grandparents go back home having enjoyed the time spent. Unfortunately in Durham, NC and elsewhere, there seems to be a growing trend where grandparents end up raising their grandchildren. In Durham, NC when they seek official grandparent custody Durham NC seniors sometimes find it confusing and frustrating however.

Parenting styles vary from household to household, and sometimes the older generation does not approve of the way their children are handling the day to day challenges of parenting. They may object strongly about everything from what the grandchildren eat to how they are disciplined. There is rarely anything they can do about it however, because removing children from the parental home is something social services and courts try to avoid.

Many people believe parents caught taking illegal drugs automatically lose guardianship of their children, but this is not always the case. Many states do not regard illegal drug activity child abuse. It may take proving parents have involved the minor children in the drug activities. Some states recognize the use of drugs during pregnancy a risk to the unborn child which qualifies as abuse.


Most often parents simply give up their rights to children. They either drop off the children one day and don't return, or gradually leave the children in the grandparents care for longer and longer periods of time until the parent simply drifts away. Most grandparents willingly accept the unexpected responsibility.

It may be that the parent is forced out their children's lives because of death or incarceration. If this happens, the grandparents can seek formal guardianship or remain as the primary caregivers through an informal arrangement. There will have to be some papers and forms filled out and filed though to make sure the adults can make educational and medical decisions for the minors.

Grandparents who think the courts will give them special consideration because they are related to the children may be upset to learn the courts have no obligation to regard them as anything but an interested third party. If they already have had the children in their home full time for an extended period, they may have a better chance of resolving the issue in their favor.

Grandparents sometimes get very upset when, after they have been awarded custodial rights by the court, one or both of the parents return and want their children back. Seniors sometimes mistakenly assume legal guardianship gives them the same claim to the children as adoption would, but that is incorrect. If parents can convince the courts they are stable and have overcome their difficulties, guardianship is often returned to them.

Tensions can run high when it comes to how children are being raised and what constitutes a loving and stable home. Grandparents are important to their grandchildren, but they are seldom able to replace parents.




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