Co-parenting after a split is never easy and more so in the event that there is contentious relationship with the other partner. There might be concerns as concerns ability of a partner to effectively take care of the kids or there may be stress that is caused by child support issues. When co-parenting is well done, it works well and kids will enjoy stability and peace of mind. They will have close relationship with both parents. In considering co parenting Orange County CA residents will benefit from various tips.
Empathy will be key. This is whereby both parents should try and put themselves in the shoes of the kids. When kids miss the absent parent, they need to be allowed to voice their feelings. Some parents will rebuke kids that ask to see their dad or mum with the hope that it helps matters.
Parents are supposed to be flexible and open with schedules. Kids tend to suffer a lot when parents start arguing about visitation schedules in front of them. Even in instances when there is court-ordered parenting calendar and a parent wants to take the kids somewhere, a sense of understanding will be required. Having visitation schedules does not mean that one has to stick to them. Flexibility will be key.
Proper communication with the co parent will be crucial. Peaceful, purposeful and consistent communication with the ex will help the kids. This should be done even when it seems impossible. The communication is mostly as regards the well-being of the kids. Before contacting each other, it is important to consider the way that talk will affect the kids. The children should be the focal point of the communication. It is never absolutely necessary to meet in person, which is where the communication comes in.
There needs to be teamwork when co-parenting because there are numerous decisions that need to be made together. This is irrespective of whether you like each other or not. There needs to be cooperation without overreaction as it makes decision making very simple. Children are supposed to have exposure to various perspectives as they learn to be flexible too. Children also need to live under similar expectations in whichever of the homes. This prevents them from getting confused.
In regard to discipline, parents should have same systems and consequences when rules are broken. This must always be the case even when the infraction happens in the other house. If for instance the kids have TV privileges when they are with your ex, the same should happen in your house. Rewards for good behaviour must also be similar.
The resolution of disagreement is key to peaceful and constructive upbringing of children in such a set up. As much as possible, parents need to solve any arising disagreements respectfully. Children should not be sucked into such. It is important to involve each other in all decisions to avoid disagreements.
Comprise is one of the biggest things that must be embraced. This will involve making sacrifices in the best interest of kids. Compromise does not mean one has been disrespected or that they are the lesser parent.
Empathy will be key. This is whereby both parents should try and put themselves in the shoes of the kids. When kids miss the absent parent, they need to be allowed to voice their feelings. Some parents will rebuke kids that ask to see their dad or mum with the hope that it helps matters.
Parents are supposed to be flexible and open with schedules. Kids tend to suffer a lot when parents start arguing about visitation schedules in front of them. Even in instances when there is court-ordered parenting calendar and a parent wants to take the kids somewhere, a sense of understanding will be required. Having visitation schedules does not mean that one has to stick to them. Flexibility will be key.
Proper communication with the co parent will be crucial. Peaceful, purposeful and consistent communication with the ex will help the kids. This should be done even when it seems impossible. The communication is mostly as regards the well-being of the kids. Before contacting each other, it is important to consider the way that talk will affect the kids. The children should be the focal point of the communication. It is never absolutely necessary to meet in person, which is where the communication comes in.
There needs to be teamwork when co-parenting because there are numerous decisions that need to be made together. This is irrespective of whether you like each other or not. There needs to be cooperation without overreaction as it makes decision making very simple. Children are supposed to have exposure to various perspectives as they learn to be flexible too. Children also need to live under similar expectations in whichever of the homes. This prevents them from getting confused.
In regard to discipline, parents should have same systems and consequences when rules are broken. This must always be the case even when the infraction happens in the other house. If for instance the kids have TV privileges when they are with your ex, the same should happen in your house. Rewards for good behaviour must also be similar.
The resolution of disagreement is key to peaceful and constructive upbringing of children in such a set up. As much as possible, parents need to solve any arising disagreements respectfully. Children should not be sucked into such. It is important to involve each other in all decisions to avoid disagreements.
Comprise is one of the biggest things that must be embraced. This will involve making sacrifices in the best interest of kids. Compromise does not mean one has been disrespected or that they are the lesser parent.
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